Negative Thinking

I worked at the restuarant tonight, and it started as a pretty bad night. i was crying at one point. but i realized that i had gone from one table being upset with me to thinking i was going to get fired. the negative thoughts just snowballed majorly. i need to try to work on that.

I made a therapist appointment, but it is not for three weeks, so that kinda sucks. but at least i will be able to go into it very organized and maybe the effexor will have kicked in by then.

I was very productive last night. i wrote 3 letters - to my mom, her new husband, and my uncle. i was very honest and just wrote what was on my mind. I asked my mom a lot of questions about my family, there is a lot i dont know. i really hope she answers. And i havent talked to my uncle for over a year now, since he cheated on my aunt. i miss him and i hope we can start our relationship again.

In any case, im trying to learn a lot about myself and grow to like myself better, and this is the first serious attempt i have made at this my whole life. so far, i am happy with the way things are going.